fear & opportunity

So... I did it! I actually got it! An internship, I mean. The thing that I told myself would actually make me feel like a college student who is going to graduate and then make it in life. And I do feel like that. I'm FREAKING OUT actually. And I have a grant so I won't have to work otherwise (yay!).
I'm working at the National Endowment for the Arts in their communications office from the end of may until the end of july. Pretty crazy. And I'm super stoked! I mean, its the mother of all non profit arts organizations in the US so thats pretty freakin awesome for someone who wants to get into that world (aka me).
I'm also, now that everything is final, doing the thing where I get INCREDIBLY SCARED about how things will be. It will be my first summer away from home. I guess I am away from home most of the time, since I technically live in Maryland at school, but this will be my first long vacation away. Its weird I guess. I knew this would have to happen someday - I'd have to grow up. And part of me is really excited to do that, and the other part is very nervous about it. Am I going to miss my family too much? Am I going to be happy? What about seeing my friends? I keep experiencing these weird ups and downs because of it.
I knew - in a weird way, I knew - when I read about the internship on our college website, that it would be the perfect fit for me. The lady who contacted the school is actually an alumni, so I'm assuming she put in a good word. I got the email in February, but I didn't do anything about it until early April, when I was getting desperate. I didn't do anything about it because I was scared to apply and possibly get in, and then be so far away from everything.
I'm extremely scared about many things as a person, but one of the biggest ones is growing up. Not becoming mature (in a sense, I already have alot of that) but becoming self-sufficient. It goes back to my overwhelming fear and hatred of failure, and living/breathing/working on my own requires alot, and I'm afraid I won't be good at it. I won't be able to handle it. I'll fail.
It seems silly, really, to be afraid of such a thing. But I truly am.