cave woman

So, last night, I got some advice through a cousin about boys. Actually, the advice was from Kate but passed along through Deb to me when we were having a discussion about how, if you have a long distance phone and email based relationship you (as the girl) usually end up becoming way more emotionally involved because dudes (those with penis's) don't work like that for whatever reason (the penis) and so on and so forth etc, and Deb imparted to me some great words from Kate, who described the successful practice of finding a man like this:
"Find the unsuspecting ones. Club them and then bring them back to your lair."
Now, this may seem a little un-progressive and yes, definitely evokes a caveman image, but the more I thought about it, the more I began to like it.
And I know we're in this age of feminism and the dominant woman and the like - and so the power struggle between you (the one with feelings) and he (the other one) has simultaneously elevated into a mega clash of the titans while also descending into the depths of sexual and moral scrutiny by throwing off old-fashioned pretenses about "courting" and instead embracing a more "anything goes" mantra which, in my opinion, actually leaves the woman still underhanded, probably even more so because there's no dowry leverage in there.
Mouthful?
Yes.
But this, dare I say, cave-woman approach to love offered by my cousin Kate (who, after a slew of relationships is now happily married and just had her first child! Trey!) is the smartest and simplest advice I have yet to receive. It's exactly what, I think, a man would understand. It's a powerful image, devoid of emotion, that retains a certain logic of circumstance. Find him. Club him over the head. Bring him back. Now he's yours.
Of course, one must always remember on top of this, that you are planning this event in secret. Because, as everyone knows, if you let a guy know you're interested too early, he may lose interest. There's no chase; no fight. This poor hairy caveman was probably hunting saber-tooth tiger without a thought when intelligent, beautiful, strong hairy cave-woman snuck up on him, smashed the back of his skull and proceeded to drag him to her cave and inform him, when he awoke (with slight amnesia), that he needed to bring back dinner tonight.
I'd like to see how this plays out in our modern economy of love. And it is an economy, mind you, because the give-and-take between men and women is just as, if not more important, than its always been. Emotionally, physically, financially - we're all playing the game to find that perfect match.
But I'd like to see if its possible to simplify the process, as Kate implies. I mean, I obviously can't go around clubbing CEO's (or George Clooney) and dragging them back to my dorm room and making them think we got married in Vegas. I'm sure its illegal.
But I'd like to have the strength and smarts of a cave-woman - to know what I want and how to get it, whether its love or not.