I do..... not!

While becoming a newspaper and internet news connoisseur (through my time at the NEA), I've noticed a disturbing trend... infidelity.
Check out these two articles in Time Magazine (the second is here: Time).
What do you make of it?
As for me, it makes me really sad. And scared. It doesn't only scare me that the idea of a family that stays together is becoming obsolete, but that people's ideas of marriage are solely based around their kids, and not on their relationship with each other.
The goal of marriage is not children. Yes, it may be an outcome, but people don't get married so they can have babies. We all know where babies come from anyway.
Marriage is supposed to be a way you publicly commit to another person - you're best friend, partner, whatever you want to call it - and a ritual that affirms the relationship between the two of you.
I think people are taking this kind of commitment way too lightly. On top of that, they are starting families without having a relationship strong enough to support them.
Of course, I do not have the actual experience to comment - but I've seen bad and good marriages in my family. A good marriage is hard work, but its work that is worth it. Commitment is hard work, but if you truly love someone then its a logical step.
And yeah, someday I think I'd like to wear a white dress and walk down an aisle of some sort and there'll be music, I suppose, but I don't want to go into it with someone that thinks it's something that can be lightly broken.
I'm gonna have to think about this more...this whole infidelity thing in our culture...

cave woman

So, last night, I got some advice through a cousin about boys. Actually, the advice was from Kate but passed along through Deb to me when we were having a discussion about how, if you have a long distance phone and email based relationship you (as the girl) usually end up becoming way more emotionally involved because dudes (those with penis's) don't work like that for whatever reason (the penis) and so on and so forth etc, and Deb imparted to me some great words from Kate, who described the successful practice of finding a man like this:
"Find the unsuspecting ones. Club them and then bring them back to your lair."
Now, this may seem a little un-progressive and yes, definitely evokes a caveman image, but the more I thought about it, the more I began to like it.
And I know we're in this age of feminism and the dominant woman and the like - and so the power struggle between you (the one with feelings) and he (the other one) has simultaneously elevated into a mega clash of the titans while also descending into the depths of sexual and moral scrutiny by throwing off old-fashioned pretenses about "courting" and instead embracing a more "anything goes" mantra which, in my opinion, actually leaves the woman still underhanded, probably even more so because there's no dowry leverage in there.
Mouthful?
Yes.
But this, dare I say, cave-woman approach to love offered by my cousin Kate (who, after a slew of relationships is now happily married and just had her first child! Trey!) is the smartest and simplest advice I have yet to receive. It's exactly what, I think, a man would understand. It's a powerful image, devoid of emotion, that retains a certain logic of circumstance. Find him. Club him over the head. Bring him back. Now he's yours.
Of course, one must always remember on top of this, that you are planning this event in secret. Because, as everyone knows, if you let a guy know you're interested too early, he may lose interest. There's no chase; no fight. This poor hairy caveman was probably hunting saber-tooth tiger without a thought when intelligent, beautiful, strong hairy cave-woman snuck up on him, smashed the back of his skull and proceeded to drag him to her cave and inform him, when he awoke (with slight amnesia), that he needed to bring back dinner tonight.
I'd like to see how this plays out in our modern economy of love. And it is an economy, mind you, because the give-and-take between men and women is just as, if not more important, than its always been. Emotionally, physically, financially - we're all playing the game to find that perfect match.
But I'd like to see if its possible to simplify the process, as Kate implies. I mean, I obviously can't go around clubbing CEO's (or George Clooney) and dragging them back to my dorm room and making them think we got married in Vegas. I'm sure its illegal.
But I'd like to have the strength and smarts of a cave-woman - to know what I want and how to get it, whether its love or not.

house cleaning

I'm in a bad mood, cuz I'm sick, so I need to get a few things off my chest...

1) How NOT EXCITED I am for school to start so freakin early with RA training which means I only have 2 weeks at home. Yes its my damn fault for taking an internship, I know, but do we really have to be there two weeks early? really??
2) How NOT EXCITED I am to see certain people and be thrown in awkward situations that I really just don't want to deal with because there is enough goin on in the world already and I'd like to skip all that, thankyouverymuch.
3) How NOT EXCITED I am to drive all the way down with no a/c.
4) How stupidly frustrating I am getting over a situation that does not even demand frustration, or even thought at all, since I know its not going to turn out any way I expect it or want it to. Which leads to..
5) How much I hate being emotional, emotionally attached, and, in general, a girl.
and 6) I hate transcribing things.

k. cool.

not anymore - letoya luckett

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15f4Fc72mNM

and I really feel like I'm losing my best friend

it looks as though, you're letting go

College has been a whirlwind of things. You meet people. You make friends. You lose people - to death, or transfers, or even... just because.
And I think its the last thing that hurts the most.
It hurts to lose someone because... you just lose them. And there is not alot you can really do to get them back. It hurts especially when they were one of your closest friends, and then... whatever happened, they just fell away.

There is a lot of hurt I hold towards you - from the things you said and the way you acted. But I'm trying to forgive. And you? You just don't even try. I feel like I'm the only one who ever tries. And honestly, it hurts me to say this, but why should I waste my time?